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If he gives it, it will require much before he reneges. And...”She looks at me closely when I stop speaking. “There’s more to this, something you’re not telling me, isn’t there, darling?”It is a difficult thing to say, but I must. Linda is like M’kamba in one way, that she sees under the surface. But I must say carefully, I will not cause Linda pain if I can avoid.“Linda, I love you,” I say at last. “I feel for you in ways I have never before known I can feel for anyone. I know I don’t say dear or darling or such other words, endearments, because all of this is to me in your name. But I hope you realize—”She places her fingers on my lips to stop me. “Sweetheart, I know. I wouldn’t have married you if I weren’t sure. You’re tiptoeing around because you think you’re going to hurt my feelings somehow, but you won’t. It’s about your other life, your life back then, isn’t it?”“Yes.” I breathe deep. “My life here with you is more full, more wonderful, more ... everything than I ever. One evening while on the internet, playing cards, I played a game with a woman who happened to come from my neighborhood. We became on line friends and often talked of our home life. She was married and only a few years younger than me. But her marriage was also loveless and sexless. After we had been playing for a few months, talk got more intimate and suggestive. We cybered and tried phone sex. We enjoyed it, and decided to meet for coffee. We were both just curious about each other. One evening after work, we met at a local donut shop. I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed that evening. We did nothing but talk to each other. It was the first time I had a conversation with a caring woman in 10 years. She listened, to me, and seemed to be interested in what I said. She was funny sweet and although no longer a young woman quite attractive. Even more she made me feel good all over. I had not brought my car, but she had brought hers. Anne then offered to drive me home. I did not want.
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